Tag Archives: united states

Soccer Ball

At center of the pitch, resting gently
on the grass, waiting to be blasted passed
the opposing goalkeeper by either
team. So many hopes and dreams seem to lie,
to rest, on such a small air-bloated sphere.
Bets and bullets placed in hollowed chambers,
all because Colombia face us, or
Celtic meet Rangers on the weekend. It
all begins with little more than, “Don’t use
your hands,” but international demands
raise the stakes and wages, complicating
what started as love of the game. At a
certain age, though, it’s never the same. You’re
unhappy, and of course your team’s to blame.

Rejected US Holidays

  • Pacific Remote Islands National Marine Monument Day — January 6
  • Lili’uokalani Day — January 17
  • Guantanamo Bay Day — February 23
  • Michael Bay Day — February 17
  • Virgin Day — March 31
  • Benevolent Imperialism Day —
  • Mission Accomplished Day— May 1
  • “Oh yeah? Well, we already have manila envelopes, so it’s like not like we need you anyway” Day — June 12
  • American Samoa Day — July 17
  • Delicious Girl Scout Cookie Day — (observed)
  • “‘Trust Territory’ and ‘Concentration Camp’ Are Highly Misleading Phrases” Day (also known as Alliteration Aday) — July 18
  • Get Those Guamis Back Day — July 21
  • “Call A Puerto Rican A Mexican” Day — July 25
  • “Let’s Bomb the Motherfuckers” Day — August 9
  • “Yasser? I don’t even know her!” Day — November 11
  • Trail of Tears Day — December 3
  • Kang the Conqueror Day — ∞