Tag Archives: testicles

When the toxic heat of summer irradiates the sky, violating our lewd and turgid flesh and turning each crevice into a squalid pit of filth and discomfort that lies desperately chafed along the airy edge of freedom, there can be but one respite to its endless cosmic pain:

Goldbond.

Avocadode

O dear, sweet Avocado. Who was I before I met your plump lips? Your voluptuous green meat, hidden from my world by your blackened shell. Where once I found you disgusting, revolting without reason, I am forever grateful for the day that my heart let you in, and I was deemed worthy of your sweet ecstasy. How could I have expected that the more rotten your exterior appears, the more luscious, juicy, and bright you are within? How could I have lived so long without your nourishment, and your significant contribution of Vitamin B6 to my diet, bringing my dreams to more vivid life and attempting to soothe my Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder? You bring focus into my life, Avocado, and you bring life into my dreams, and so it would stand to reason that it is you who bring my dreams to life. They call you climacteric, because you ripen off the tree, but I believe it is because you are a climax in and of yourself. A delicious, creamy green climax.

I love you so much that I don’t even care if your name means “testicle” in the Nahuatl Aztec tongue, because, to be honest with you, Avocado, I might even go gay if you asked me to.

Not that, you know, I’m gay or anything. I just really like avocados. The fruits, I mean.

(Although, technically, they’re berries. No, seriously.)

Burrito Sonnet #1

Our love is like a burrito, tightly
wrapped and warm and sometimes much too filling
(not uncomfortably so) or slightly
messy, sometimes sloppy, often dripping

with a liquid mélange of every food
group represented — the fluffy brown rice
with mildly spiced salsa and a good
chunk of meat, not-too-sour cream, a nice

spoonful of Aztesticles, beans and cheese.
A savory medley united by one
massive, impassioned consumption that frees
that flavorful drive. As it spills and runs

through your body, its tastes fill your being
with pleasures that make for a life worth living.