Tag Archives: spider-man

Origin Story

It began, as most Wednesdays do, with a sojourn. The work day complete, I depart from my hole-in-the-ground and set forth along the cow paths of Massachusetts Avenue, passing by the Christian Science Center Reflecting Pool and continuing along past Berklee, up over the Mass Pike to The Otherside and within ten minutes I’m standing outside the door of Newbury Comics, awaiting the days’ haul. I enter the store and approach the front desk and without saying a word I receive a stack of fresh comic books from the cashier, the newest issues, just released that date. I thank her, then walk towards the back corner of the store to check the New Release racks to make sure I’m not missing anything.

That’s when I discover the truth: Animal Man #16, Unwritten #45, and Wolverine & the X-Men #23 are all missing. They were not in the pile that was handed me when I walked in, and they are not among the racks with the other new releases.

Breathlessly I dash back to the front desk. “Jesse,” I say to the manager (because obviously I’m on a first name basis with the comic book guy), “There’s an emergency! I’m missing 3 comics!” Before I finish speaking, he’s at the inventory computer, fingers racing across the keyboard, clock ticking fervidly, each passing second echoed deeply in my head. After 83 seconds that feel like a lifetime, Jesse turns to me and says, “It looks like Animal Man and Unwritten were undershipped from the distributor, but they’ll be here next week. I’m not sure why Wolverine & the X-Men wasn’t in your box, but I have an extra copy here that you can have. I’ll put it in the computer now to make sure we don’t forget again.”

“Awesome! Thanks so much, man. Sorry to be a pain.”

“No problem dude! She’ll ring you up at the register,” he says as he enters the information. I handle my transaction with the other cashier and as I type my secret PIN into the code box I hear the tinny ding!ding! of the metal detector at front of the door. This of course attracts my attention, as it does the entire staff. “Let me just check your bag real quick?” Jesse asks the customer. His manner is pleasant and unaccusing as he steps out from behind the computer at the front desk, but it doesn’t matter; the guy makes a run for it, slamming through the door, stutter-stepping at the sidewalk, and bolting down the street. Jesse follows as quickly as human legs can take him, but by the time he’s hit the street, the thief has already lost himself in the throng of early-evening shoppers.

This all happens in the time it takes me to enter my 6-digit PIN to complete my transaction. Jesse walks back into the store, defeated and enraged, and immediately the phone to call the police. It was in that moment that I knew: this would be the last time I stood idly by as twisted criminal scum had their way with my comic book shop. For I was too engrossed in entering my PIN, too wrapped up in myself to take the necessary action, and because of my selfishness, my recklessness, who knows how many innocent used CDs have been lost?

As a wise man once told me, “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility,” and from that day forth I have committed myself to justice. I have recreated myself as a symbol, because symbols have the strength to battle evil.

I am Regular Wednesday Comic Book-Buying Guy.

Spider-Man Mug

White ceramic with crouched Peter Parker
printed against a red and black background,
microwave and dishwasher safe, maybe
from all that spider bite radiation.
How much worse could it get, right? Quite a bit:
Aunt May mortified by the sight of him,
Captain and Gwen Stacy racing through his
conscious and consciousness, and Mary Jane
complaining about missed dates and staying
out late with some other girl, Black Cat or
an underworld princess, like there isn’t
enough on his super plate already,
but hold steady, don’t fork over the suit
and say you’ve had too much. It’s just a mug.

Race and the Internet According to Hogwild19100

I’m just gonna call this “found poetry” and be done with it.


hate the new spidy and noo its not
bc hes black
for the love of
god please black ppl
will you stop with
the racist shit

ok im 20 years old wasnt around for that shit
ok neither were my parents
ok so drop the bull shit calling

everybnody racist shit just
bc some one has a differnt opinion than you
or that they dont like the new spidy

ok your race wasnt the only race to be discriminated against
ok so quit the racist card boo

hoo shit enough
i hate
the new spidy bc they kill
off peter and then in a matter
of day they already have a new one?
really its like peter never existed
and then marvek said they were ganna change
some of this new charactes views form peter
like hes ganna have a competl;y new outlook
on justrice and crim and all that shit
so basically what marvel is saying is that

w.e made spider man spider man
w.e made peter parker peter parkewr

there just completly throwing that shit
outa the window and are brining something
comltly new and fresh in? wow dumest decision
ever you take and american icon and shit

on it by bringing in a dude
that doesnt even share the same
beliefs or ideas or views
or justice on crime into the comic
books and expect ppl to like it ?
exspecially hard core spidy
book readers? fuck no the worst

decision marvel has ever made

plus hoe the fuck
did he get his powers
huh did he
get bitten by a special spider
too pshhhh lame as hell wow

marvel im very disapointed in you
you cant take something like spidy
and just kill him off and replace him
with some bogus character you ruining
and trampling over the legacy of peter

parker with this new character
don t you see that? its like if we
wake up one day and the U.S
government decides that there ganna
replace the statue of liberty
with some other bogus statue that
know one has ever heard of like

wtf

i mean that statue is
what makes new york
new york besides
the 911 bombiungs
but thats getting off
topic any ways you see
what im saying tho you cant
just do that shit you piss
alot of ppl off that way

including me and again its not
bc of the fucking color
of the kid if the mutha
fucka was purple i still
wouldnt care its the fact
marvel is changing the very foundation

of spidy and trying
to replace the
foundation that
eveybody has come

to love about spidy and really
in my opinion destrying it
with this new charcater ill
go back to reading batman comics and stick
with the peter parker spider man comics

and then they were ganna make him gay!!
like seriously like to i have a problem with gays

no i dont do i believe in what
they believe and stand for what
they stand for no
i dont but im not ganna treat them
differntky for that but i mean
serioulsy your ganna start
putting gaynes in our comic
books to? i mean shit like

for real this is the way
i look at it i wont push
my straightness for girls
in your face dont push
your gayness for guys
in mine k sounds

like a deal
but noo you
always have
this happy go
lucky gays
all ways

perading around pushing
that shit in my face do

i look like i care
that your gay fuck

no i dont
care but

do me
a favor

and dont shove
that shit in
my face thats where
we have a problem

and i mean damn your telling me
now that i cant even pick up a fucking
comic book trying to relaxing
and drink a cup of coffe

with oru seeing the new
spider man making our
with some dude!!!! wtf

what is this world
coming to god

help us all
i mean do ppl

nmot think that kids will read
this shit too? i mean is that

really something you want
for your kid is to have them

be gay well

that your decision as a parent
but at least let your child make
a decision for them sleves dont

force gayness in there
face by this new spidy
comics thats not fair
to the chid at all

i mean when i was little
i wanted to be just

like batman
and just like
kidfs theses days
wanna be

just like spidy and
if the new spidy is

gay the kids
are ganna

want to be gay as well
its just an over all

bad risk and
bad choice
by marvel i
will back
fire on them

im willing
to bet it


(sic)

Summer Was Never Our Season

Summer was never our season, or so
it seems (excepting Scarborough beaches,
crossing bridges by Five, colorful eyes,
those few sticky nights we still hold on to):
first mute, then blind, now trapped in different times,
the heat has always been kept down. But that
sensation—waking beside you, the cat
spitting allergens at me, purring, “Mine!”
as she nuzzled your chest—was still worth it.
If I could I’d have given you sunlight
but the moon waged war with us, and our fights
were never known for being temperate,
like the summers we keep wasting away
or nights spent wishing for one more day.