Tag Archives: ” regret

The Late Night Mistake Haiku

Hamburgers and fries
In the glow of the drive-thru
Clogs your soul with shame.

Singer

(for Christopher)

Days are spent forcing the connection, or
failing to make the connection,
between the pun-savoring boy
and the name of the man in the death notices.
Like quantum physics,
Angry Birds, and the notion
that dissent is only patriotic for some,
I can’t make sense of it.
These days I am deliberately haunted,
fully occupied with my own hero
worship, knowing (because I knew the boy)
that here is no one I could have
rescued. Here is no one who is owed
anything from me, let alone explanations,
or fantasies of reclamation. There is no one
point to go back to, to change the course
of events, to ascertain the exact moment
where an exchange could have stopped
me from reading his obituary.
You don’t have that power, I hear him tell me.
Why are you apologizing when we
haven’t spoken in 15 years? I nod.
I understand that I have made him a
phantom of circumstance, who listens
just to be polite.
The boy becomes the man
becomes the spectre in the film
I play in my head.
But there is no real possession.

Trepverter

 

Of all the witty things I could have said,

There are some things I really should have said.

 

Retreating from an argument I’ve lost,

I kick myself for what I could have said.

 

It’s not “medicinal” if you smoke it to be less of an asshole.

That’s probably something that I should have said.

 

Sometimes I keep myself awake all night

playing out these things I could have said.