Tag Archives: Lyubov Orlova

What’s Cooking? I Smell A Rat!

So, if you’re on Facebook, you might be seeing a story going around about an abandoned cruise ship that’s drifting around the Atlantic. Only it’s not completely abandoned…it’s allegedly filled with diseased, cannibal rats.

Now, killjoys are responding to this with some Smithsonian article pooh-poohing the existence of the cannibal rats. Some of us don’t care. In fact, some of us are TOTALLY THRILLED about the very idea that such a pleasure ship might exist. To that end, a Facebook Fan Page has been created for what we are calling the Rat Boat. And at least one of us thinks that Disney/Pixar should GET ON THIS and make a musical animated extravaganza. I am offering my services to write the lyrics for this. Here is what I’m thinking for the BIG OPENING NUMBER:

RAT 1:
We live upon this ghostly ship
Adrift on the high seas.
No pesky human beings on board –
We do what we please!

RAT 2:
The problem with no people, though,
Is that we’re short on grub.
We’re scroungers with nothing to scrounge:
Therein lies the rub.

RAT 3:
No bread, no cheese, no bits of fruit.
We’d eat that if we could.
And so our ratty shipmates
Start looking pretty good.

CHORUS:
What’s cooking? I smell a rat!
So have a seat! Let’s chew the fat!
Just don’t wonder: “Who was that?”
What’s in this dish? I smell a rat!

You can thank me later, Bob Iger.