Tag Archives: brewery

Beer Review Haiku Part Two

These brews were all originally tasted at the Mass Brewer’s Fest at the Seaport World Trade Center in Boston on September 2, 2011

Blue Hills Brewery Antimatter (4.8% ABV)
Like an explosion
of atomic biscuits in
a flower bouquet.

Blue Hills Brewery Watermelon Wheat
This just tastes like NERDS.
You know, the candy? There is
nothing else to say.

Blue Hills Brewery OktoBrau
Malty, but without
being sweet. Tastes rather
green and unaged.

Samuel Adams Brewery Harvest Pumpkin Ale (5.7% ABV)
A better pumpkin
offering, but still spicy
with strong clove flavors.

Cape Cod Brewery IPA (6.0% ABV)
With dominating
pine and citrus tones, this tastes
almost tingly.

Jack’s Abbey Brewing Hoponious Union IPL (6.7% ABV)
An India Pale
LAGER? Sounds like crazy talk!
Oh wow that’s hoppy…

Wachusett Brewery Imperial Pumpkin Ale (8.0% ABV)
Hot alcohol taste
right up front. It’s basically
BOOZE BOOZE spices BOOZE.

Cisco Brewery Pumple Drumpkin (6.0% ABV)
You know how pumpkin
beers don’t actually taste like
pumpkin? This one does.

Pretty Things Jack D’or (6.5% ABV)
Distinct Belgian taste
of cloves and spice, with a dry
hoppy bitterness.

Ipswich Brewery Castle Hill Summer Barleywine
Thick, chewy body
with sharp molasses tang — and
yet, still summer-y.

The Alchemist Magic Carpet Rye
This beer tastes
almost exactly like a
pancake, but a beer.

Haverhill Brewery India Schwarzbier
Not so much hoppy,
more with the roasty flavors;
a resounding “meh.”

Northampton Conundrum Beer
Like great iced coffee —
no cream, no sugar, with a
splash of caramel.

Watch City Brewery BeeJezus Belgian Botanical Ale (8.0% ABV)
A beer with no hops?!
Very herbal; not bad, but
I want beer, not tea.

Haverhill California Poms American Wheat Ale with Pomegranate
Oh wait, I’m sorry,
this was supposed to have a
flavor? I missed that.

Wormtown Pumpkin Ale (4.3% ABV)
Lightly spiced, with some
actual pumpkin flavor;
simple, but solid.

Harpoon Brewery Uncle Fester Wild Dark Ale
Weird funky wild yeast
taste, but still sweet, smoky, and
spicy all at once.

Haiku Beer Review

5:58pm

Southern Tier IPA (7.3% ABV)
Citrus, floral hop
aroma. Not too bitter,
“but it’s good enough.”

Souther Tier Choklat Stout (11% ABV)
Smells like hot cocoa,
with a strong dark chocolate taste.
Goes great with ice cream!

Weihenstephan Korbinian (7.4% ABV)
Clove flavor comes through
a bitter, malty base. How
do you pronounce this?

Shipyard Old Thumper Double Ale (11.2% ABV)
Two Boar head gargolyes
decorate the tap handle;
I think that’s awesome.

6:30pm

Shipyard Blue Fin Stout (4.7% ABV)
A special new batch;
roasted, with a strong wood-like
taste. Does that make sense?

6:40pm

Ithaca Cold Front Belgian IPA (7.2% ABV)
Clove aroma up
front, with a soft hops balance;
could be more bitter.

6:45pm

B-Nektar Meadery Orange Blossom Meade (13% ABV)
Delicate floral
and citrus notes with honey,
sweet and acidic.

Cisco Grey Lady (4.5% ABV)
Light in color, easy
to drink, with an aftertaste
full of fruit and cloves.

6:57pm

Blackthorne Cider (6% ABV)
Dry, but much too tart.
Poorly carbonated, and
overall just “eh.”

7:02pm

Kennebec River Brewery IPA (??% ABV)
Chewy and pungent;
why does their artwork feature
whitewater rafting?

7:11pm

Dogfish Head Sah’Tea (9% ABV)
“Hoegaarden with a
punch in the face” made up of
chai tea spices. Great!

7:17pm

Ten Penny Ale Dirty Penny Ale (5.2% ABV)
I’m skeptical of
black-and-tan combo beers, but
this one is quite good.

7:22pm

Ithaca alpHalpHa Special Single Barrel (8.5% ABV)
Too much cascade hops,
and not enough honey;
way to let me down.

7:33pm

Heavy Seas Small Craft Warning Über Pils (7.25%)
Pirates make beer taste
like beer, only better; they
also have peg legs.

7:44pm

Haverhill Brewing Company Gest-Alt German-Style Brown Ale (5.3% ABV)
The name of this is
too long; they should just call it
“watered-down porter.”

7:57pm

High and Mighty Beer of the Gods (4.5% ABV)
I’m not sure God would
drink this, but it did inspire
me to start rapping.

High and Mighty XPA (5% ABV)
More “India” than
“Extra.” Why don’t they call it
“EPA” instead?

8:00pm

Clownshoes Clementine Wheat Beer (6% ABV)
Huge disappointment,
much too light and acidic.
Fucking clownshoes, man!

8:07pm

McNeil Brewery Dead Horse IPA (5.7% ABV)
Your brewmaster seemed
sad and lonely. I would, too,
if I made this beer.

8:15pm

Wormtown Brewery Seven Hills Pale Ale (4.5% ABV)
My notes consist of
incoherent ramblings
about dead babies.

8:21pm

Peak Organic “Noir” Black IPA (7.2% ABV)
Not sure what makes this
“noir”; it’s more black in color
than morally grey.

8:27pm

Gardner Ale House XPA
I had a roommate
once from Gardner; she wasn’t
really into beer.