Beach Umbrella

It isn’t so much depression as—no,
but maybe it is. It’s not always doom
and gloom; it can also be laziness,
lack of desire, an extinguished heart fire,
a general dimming of the world and
all of the once flaring lights within it.
Not so much an emptiness as a blank
space where nothing can come to rest, a hole
with no edges or depth, only itself.
Like when I bring a book to the beach to
read, excited because it’s engrossing,
maybe summer themed, but when I turn
my eyes away, the brightness blinds me for
a moment, and the pages all look black.

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