Red Carpet

Please excuse me while I celebrate my
latest accomplishment. Even though no
one knows if it’s even worth the price paid
for craft services each day on set, I’m
still betting the press will want to be here
to herald such an auspicious event.
Please come honor me, and then afterwards
you can view my potentially shitty
movie. And once you’ve clapped through the credits,
join me for a drink at the studio’s
expense and share your thoughts* with the entire
cast and crew. (*Only positive reviews.)
And who cares if you think it completely
sucks? We’ll be doing another next month.

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