weeks 1 – 4. hey, you have nothing to do (no job, no girlfriend, no money), so you start a blog. it’s great. every day you post funny little stories about how crazy and unique your life is. like that ridiculous thing that happened at starbucks with that guy and the ridiculous thing that guy did. you’re immortal!
weeks 5 – 7. you start mixing in links to political articles from the new yorker and atlantic monthly to seem more intellectual and “with it.” maybe even a gawker or salon article. definitely an interview from the av club.
weeks 8 – 9. your stories about jerks on the freeway are getting repetitive so you start embedding youtube videos. isn’t “frustrated super mario bros. player” hilarious?! and i think this “gangnam style” business could really catch on!
weeks 10 – 12. your favorite sports team in the playoffs. unless people (a) care about sports and (b) care about your favorite sports team, they couldn’t give a crap about your blog during this period of time. and let’s face it, even if they fit both (a) and (b) they still have trouble mustering up the enthusiasm.
weeks 13 – 16. you finally got a job and have very little time during the day to post and less interest in doing it at night. now you’re posting once a week if you even remember to post at all and it’s generally something horribly mundane like “happy veterans’ day.” (no disrespect to our veterans. only disrespect to your lazy ass.)
weeks 17 – 22. you putter along at this pace, occasionally tossing up a stupid video, link to your equally sucky podcast, or a funny-but-sadly-accurate history of your blog.
weeks 23 – 25. it’s the holidays. who has time to post? if you’re lucky, you remember to post a “merry christmas” up just in time to make the midnight deadline.
weeks 26 – 34. your blog remains untouched until you either (a) shut it down, (b) remember to post something about your favorite sports team starting training camp or (c) lose your job.
weeks 35 – the rest of your life. hey, you never got that girlfriend. whatever happened with that?