Ode To A Small Theater Box Office Manager

We’re really glad you came out tonight
Yes, I speak for everyone
You can purchase tickets here
No, not through the window
I don’t know how the slide-y drawer works.

No, we don’t take credit cards.
No, I don’t have change for that.
The bathroom?
It’s down the hall, on the left.

Tickets bought online? OK,
let me check the list.
What’s the name?
Hmm. It’s not here.
Oh, it’s under your login
Or a last initial
Or a nickname?
Of course it is.

Down the hall, on the left.

We have some concessions.
They’re on that shelf over there.
No charge, but it’s a suggested
donation. That means you’re
supposed to, you know,
actually make the donation.

Oh, if you don’t mind,
please don’t stand there,
you’re blocking the entrance.
Don’t stand there either,
that blocks the exit.
Hall. Left.
Yeah, and that’s the ticket
booth — I need to get back
in there. Don’t stand there
either.

If you don’t mind.

I know it’s warm.
We turned the AC on.
It taks a while
to get going.
I’m sorry.

Once the house is open
And you’ve all sat down,
the actors hit the boards,
I can finally relax.
Unless the lighting guy
called out sick, or is
over at Comedy Sportz.
Then I’m running the board
with raw eyes, doing my best
to not think about having
to pick up all your discarded
programs and soda cans
from under those seats
when you’re done with the art.

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