I’m famous for being quite awful;
for attention I’ll beg and I’ll grovel.
I get drunk on tv
so it’s easy to see
why I’m ripe to write a great novel.
I’ve played roles based in real life and folklore.
And it’s true I was once quite the coke whore.
But you must hear me out,
for there can be no doubt –
you must care who I tell you to vote for.
On Daddy’s dime I mix and I mingle,
Unmerited wealth makes me tingle.
I’m not some dumb slut!
Because I’ll tell you what –
just wait til I drop my new single!
As the head of some big companies,
I think running this nation’s a breeze.
Though I’m clearly a novice,
and will NOT seek the office,
I can now collect HUGE speaking fees!