It May Be Quite Simple, But…

I’m a little bit chubby, handles on the sides.

I wear baggy clothes so it easily hides.

I don’t have much money, but girl if I did

I’d pay for a trainer to get me fit.

 

If I run each morning—but then again, no—

or I plan to shop only Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s

(I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do),

I’ll swallow my pride and slim down for you.

 

And you can tell everybody, “This is my man.”

I may be unsightly, but give me a chance.

I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put on some weight.

I’m starting this diet Men’s Health says is great.

 

I’ll sit on a bike and spin my ass off.

Yes, a few of these muscles, well they’ve gotten quite soft.

My body was quite fine—I had rock-hard abs—

and for someone like you, I would get it back.

 

So excuse me for letting myself go this way.

You see, back in college I worked out every day.

Anyway, the thing is, what I really mean:

you won’t be ashamed to be seen with me.

 

And you can tell everybody, “This is my man.”

I may be quite frumpy, but I’ve got a plan.

I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind that I’ve put on some weight.

I promise you someday I’ll get back in shape.

 

I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind, but if you wait you’ll see

how wonderful I’ll look eventually.

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