Haiku Review: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, part 1

Book 5!

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Chapter 1: Dudley Demented

Dudley’s soul almost
face-sucked out. Mrs. Figg knows
Harry’s a wizard?!?

Chapter 2: A Peck of Owls

Harry gets expelled;
his aunt explains dementors;
Dudley voms on porch.

Plus foreshadowing,
yelling, a bit of intrigue,
and so many owls.

Chapter 3: The Advance Guard

Hodgepodge wizard pack
lies to Harry’s guardians
and fly him away.

Moody, Lupin, Tonks,
Shacklebolt; how does Rowling
come up with these names?

Chapter 4: Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place

Who’s a little prat?
Harry is. He’s finally
with friends and flips out.

Chapter 5: The Order of the Phoenix

Sirius explains
the Order, updates Harry
on Voldemort news.

Chapter 6: The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black

Summer spring cleaning:
Grimmauld Place dolled up; house-elf
Kreacher hates Hermy.

Younger brother Black
is dead Death Eater. Blacks and
Malfoys: related!

Chapter 7: The Ministry of Magic

Apparently it’s
Take Your Youngest Son’s Best Friend
Harry To Work Day.

Chapter 8: The Hearing

Cornelius Fudge:
pretty much the wizarding
world’s own Judge Judy.

Dumbledore and Figg
to the rescue! Harry is
saved from expulsion.

Chapter 9: The Woes of Mrs. Weasley

Ron, Hermy: prefects!
Mommy Molly Weasley’s fear:
her family dead.

Chapter 10: Luna Lovegood

Only Harry and
Loony Luna Lovegood can
see weird bat-horses.

Chapter 11: The Sorting Hat’s New Song

Who is this Umbridge
joker, and why is Seamus
suddenly a tool?

Chapter 12: Professor Umbridge

Umbridge is a bitch.
She gives Harry detention
for telling the truth.

Chapter 13: Detention With Dolores

Harry gets “I must not
tell lies” tattooed on his hand
during detention.

Chapter 14: Percy and Padfoot

Sirius speaks through
fireplace. Percy sends Ron mail,
condemns Dumbledore.

Chapter 15: The Hogwarts High Inquisitor

Ministry passes
stricter school laws. Umbridge starts
reviewing the profs.

People seem perturbed
by Umbridge’s promotion;
Hermy has a plan…

Chapter 16: In the Hog’s Head

Hermy convinces
Harry to head up secret
dark arts defense club.

Less than legal club
formed in dingy side street pub?
Nothing could go wrong!

Chapter 17: Educational Decree Number Twenty-Four

All Hogwarts clubs banned,
including those recently
started up in bars.

Sirius attempts
firespeaking with Harry, has
near miss with Umbridge.

Chapter 18: Dumbledore’s Army

Start with the basics:
Harry teaches Dumbledore’s
Army to disarm.

Chapter 19: The Lion and the Serpent

Harry and the twins
are banned from Quidditch for life
post-punching Malfoy.

Make sure you come back
next week when we finally
learn where Hagrid’s been!

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