Thank you all for coming to this conference for the press.
You’ll excuse if my demeanor might be something of a mess.
Because you’ve taken all this time out from your houses and your spouses
And I see you looking spiffy in your suits and your blouses.
And I get to feeling badly ’cause I know what it’s like.
‘Cause after all I am like you, just a mother and a wife.
Which is why I’ve called this conference at this time and this date,
As I need to tell you all why I must now refudiate
My original intentions for this upcoming election
After really tons of thought and a bunch of introspection.
So thank you all – but I’m not gonna run.
It’s been a ball – and a whole lot of fun.
But no Town Hall – ’cause I’m not gonna run in ’12.
I know you’re probably thinking what a pity and a shame!
‘Cause I ‘m sure that you’ve all come to trust upon the Palin name.
But I need to spend some time with Bristol, Piper, Track and Trig,
And worry less about the lipstick and some more about the pig.
So while I won’t be in the White House you’ll still see me all the time
Because a Sarah-less existence would be really such a crime.
Rest assured I’ve got so many things I’ve set within my sights
(they’re actually surveyor’s marks for anyone who’s in the right).
Like dealing with this “blood libel” kerfuffle ballyhoo.
Who knew it had to do with the Jews? Did YOU?
Hold your fire! ‘Cause I’m not gonna run.
I won’t retire – I’m just reloading my gun.
Cue the choir – I’m just not gonna run in ’12.